Sunday, March 18, 2012

The day I googled me

Kelly McNamara

Kelly McNamara is a popular name, or so it would seem. There are 246 of us listed on the Intelius People Search website. Peek You website argues that there are really 365 of us. The U.S. Search website only lists fifty. Alaska doesn’t know what they are missing; they don’t harbor any of us. Hawaii must be in mourning for they also have been deprived of us. New York, the great Big Apple, has been blessed indeed for they house a majority of us. California is also bursting with excitement because so many of us live within its borders. Massachusetts, however, is the pillar of exhilaration, possessing the majority of us.

Google images lists 4,110 pictures of Kelly McNamara. Most of us are women; some of us are men; one of us is a dog. The fact that a decent amount of us are men bothers me, I feel robbed of my femininity. And a dog! Don’t we deserve to have some dignity at least? The majority of us are brown haired, and all of us are Caucasian. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that both the name Kelly and the surname McNamara originated in Ireland. We even have our very own castle there. Some of us are beautiful, and you guessed it, some of us are quite ugly. I chose not to disclose which side of the line I find myself on.

Something peculiar is going on with the high schools that a few of us attended. Among those listed many have a strange attachment with trees. Tree High, Island Tree High, Blantree High, Charter Oak High, Glenwood City High, Springtree High, and Braintree High encompass most of the high schools listed for Kelly McNamara on Facebook.

None of us are dead. At least that’s what Google search claimed. Maybe we are immortal, maybe not. Perhaps Google is just confused. On the subject of life, many of us are over the age of forty; I think the name Kelly has passed its prime as I didn’t notice any babies with the name. Of course, who would list their baby on Google?

Many of us are smart. One of us wrote in collaboration a book entitled, “Patterns in Electronic Brainstorming” that contains 3,606 pages. Wow, that must have taken a while to write, and such a boring topic too. One of us is a florist, one owns a law firm, one went to medical school, a few of us are nurses. Many of us are college professors, one of us went to Harvard, and another of us is a biologist. I have much to live up to.

Some of us married and had beautiful weddings with many guests in attendance. Some of us enjoy the hobby of horse riding; I think they must be the ones from Texas or some other cowboy state. There are a few of us who, judging by Facebook pages, appear to be bums. One of us claimed, “I don’t know what I am doing.”

And so my search of us has come to an end. It has brought me to places I never imagined it would. In some ways I feel my name is not so unique and special to me anymore. After all, how novel can it be if there are almost a four hundred of us? On the other hand, I found less diverseness than I thought I would. I was surprised how many Kelly McNamaras were smart, educated, downright beautiful people, excluding the men of course. And the dog, I still can’t get over that one. In the end, I feel honored to share a name with so many special people and plan to live up to that name to the best of my ability from now on. Of course, if I’m immortal that might be a long time.